Satire: Let’s Rejoice in Terror’s Benefits!


by John Kirby   source: Projo    May 13, 2010

On May 6, The New York Post ran the following story on its front page: “THANKS, FAISAL! Inept terror thug saves 900 cop jobs”

“That’s how many cops were going to be cut before Faisal’s botched bid at Times Square terror. His effort prompted the city to restore $55 million to the NYPD, saving those jobs and making New York a safer place.”

Though The Post didn’t mention it, Faisal wasn’t able to save 6,700 teaching jobs, 75 senior centers, 20 fire companies, nurses in elementary schools, and an unknown number of day-care centers and other programs for children, due to be cut by Mayor Bloomberg this year.

But this still seems like a good time to pause and reflect on all the blessings we have received from Terror and the war thereon.

Here is the short list of “thank you’s” I’d like to see from other terror beneficiaries who have plenty of reason to be grateful:

• A much-belated “God Bless You!” from former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, who on Sept. 10, 2001, announced that the Pentagon had “misplaced” $2.3 trillion.

“Thanks, Osama! Your timing couldn’t have been better if I had planned it myself! In the chaos that followed, no one ever asked about all that money — and they still haven’t!”

• A big high-five from Larry Silverstein, who took possession of the twin towers just two months before the attacks and who collected $4.55 billion in insurance money for World Trade Center’s One and Two and $861 million for the third building to collapse that day, World Trade Center Seven. (For those who may have forgotten or never known, WTC 7 was not hit by a plane, had only minor damage and had just a few small fires burning inside it when it mysteriously collapsed into its own footprint around 5:20 p.m. on Sept. 11, 2001.)

“Thank you so much! I know I’m only a small investor in this Terror thing, but I’m truly grateful for whatever crumbs that fall from the Big Terror table!”

• Here’s a heartfelt salute from the senior officers of our Armed Forces, who had run clean out of enemies by the turn of the millennium:

“Thank you, Terror! When Soviet Communism collapsed, our whole reason for being collapsed with it. This wonderful, permanent war against ‘fear itself’ has a lot more juice than the War on Pinkos ever had! We have the largest military empire the world has ever seen, and we owe at least half of it to you!”

• A hearty handshake from the shareholders and chief executive officers of Raytheon, McDonnell-Douglas, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing and the countless junior members in good standing of the Military-Industrial Complex:

“To al-Qaida, Pakistani intelligence, and the CIA: Many thanks! Your inflated threats and geopolitical tinkering have meant inflated profits for us! And thanks, of course, to the taxpayers of America. The buck starts with you!”

• And here’s a special thank you from the National Security State as a whole to the American people: “Thanks for swallowing what is so clearly a fairy tale (spiced up with real death!). It’s been so great for us, and incidentally has kept the public very safe (give or take a few teachers, children’s programs and innocent bystanders).

Thanks, Terror! If you didn’t exist, we’d have to invent you!

John Kirby is the director of the documentary film “The American Ruling Class.” His next film is about the uses of crisis and war to centralize wealth and power.

4 Responses to Satire: Let’s Rejoice in Terror’s Benefits!

  1. john says:

    Agreed to all the above, but let’s include a bit of a reprimand with the ‘thank you’ for those who staged that mess in Times Square.

    Pretty bad job fellows—we have no one clamoring for the footage showing the SUV pulling up, and our boy Faisal exiting the vehicle. On top of that, you made sure the MSM ran the footage of the ‘shirt changer’ who was close to the SUV, but was obviously NOT the driver.
    That scene simply ‘looked’ too staged. And so we are left with four photos only—nothing of his arrest or being transported anywhere—-or who his lawyer is—–bad form, fellows—but I guess if folks aren’t demanding the truth now, it is testament to the success of your fear factory.

    Having read Orwell in 1964 did not prepare me for the reality of his vision 47 years later.

  2. john kirby says:

    excellent points. The only good new is that I’ve run into many people for whom this last incident felt faked. The bad news is some of us are so fatigued we didn’t think of your very appropriate questions… thank you for them jk

  3. […] Satire: Let's Rejoice in Terror's Benefits! « Norcaltruth […]

  4. norcaltruth says:

    John said:
    “Having read Orwell in 1964 did not prepare me for the reality of his vision 47 years later.”

    Aint that the truth!

    Up is down. Black is white. War is Peace.

    Luckily John, you are not alone in your observations or thoughts.

    Keep up the good work!

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